"Oi! The lawmen be snoopin' on them California sea dogs for tossin' around Antisemitic jests! Avast, matey!"
2025-03-05
Arrr, matey! The Justice crew be settin’ sail on a grand inquiry ‘bout the UC treasure trove, spottin’ foul winds o’ antisemitism! A missive just blew in from the DOJ to Captain Drake, lettin’ him know they be on the hunt fer justice! Avast!
Ahoy me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout a fine ruckus brewin’ in the land o' academia! The Department of Justice, a formidable crew of scallywags, be settin’ sail on a grand investigation into the vast and sprawling territory of the University of California! Aye, they be concerned about a troublesome stench o’ antisemitism that’s blown in like a foul tide!In a letter that flew faster than a cannonball on a windy day, the gallant DOJ informed the top captain of the UC ship, President Michael Drake, that they be investigatin’ this matter posthaste. It seems some barnacles are clingin’ too tightly to the hull of higher education, and those in charge be needin' to scrub the deck and set things right!
Now, one can only imagine the ruckus among the learned folk as they ponder this serious charge. Will they batten down the hatches, or will they be castin’ their nets wide to catch the miscreants? Whatever the case, it be a tale worth watchin’ as it unfolds! So hoist the sails and prepare for a tempest in a teapot—this be a saga that’s sure to entertain as much as it enlightens!