"Scallywag Border Bloke be confessin’ he ordered lasses to bare their bosoms for a shot at U.S. shores!"
2025-03-10
Arrr, mateys! A scallywag agent named Shane Millan be caught red-handed, demandin’ lassies lift their sails before crossin’ into the land of the free! He pleaded guilty to bein’ a right knave, makin’ ‘em show their treasures fer his own jolly mischief whilst sittin’ at his desk! Har har har!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale so scandalous it'll make yer timbers shiver! A former Border Patrol swab named Shane Millan, a scallywag of 53 summers, found himself in a right pickle after he be givin' orders that'd make even Davy Jones blush. Aye, this landlubber had the gall to command not one, but two fair maidens crossin' the border to lift their shirts like it be some sort o' twisted treasure hunt!In a twist o' fate worthy of the high seas, Millan pleaded guilty to bein' a dirty dog—two counts o' deprivation o' rights, they call it! As he sat in his fancy seat at the Eagle Pass, conductin' hearings like a captain givin' orders, he dared to tell one lass that she couldn’t set foot on American shores until she bared her bosoms. Arrr, what a cheeky blaggard! Who does he think he be, the captain of a ship of scoundrels?
So, beware, ye landlubbers! Let this be a lesson from the high seas of justice: there be no room fer such shenanigans in the code of piracy—or law! Aye, let this ol' sea dog hang up his cutlass and find a new line o' work, lest he be sent to the brig, where he’ll have naught but his own shame to keep him company!